Posted on February 1, 2025

By Don Hawkins, D. Min.

“Let me tell you about my new career!” The enthusiasm in Brian’s voice was obvious as we talked about getting together for lunch. He and I were part of a ministry support group in the Lincoln, Nebraska when he was pastoring a church there, and I was the cohost and producer of the Back to the Bible radio ministry.

Brian and his wife Lori recently moved back to the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex from Southern California. He had served as chairman of the Bible department at San Diego Christian College and also taught at Southern California Seminary and online for Liberty University.

My assumption was, when I learned he and his wife had relocated to the Dallas-Fort Worth area, he intended to continue his career in Christian higher education. But when we met for lunch, almost his first statement to me was that he and his wife had transitioned to a new career, a ministry as grandparents.

Grandparenting Ministry

“Don, our two adult children, Stephen and Sarah, and our six young grandchildren all live close together down here. Both of our children were born in Dallas while I was studying at Dallas Seminary. So, it seemed logical for us to move where we could be close and have a ministry to our grandchildren. We love our grandchildren so much. It seemed like they were beckoning Lori and me to retire and relocate to where we could be near them. I have to say, this whole grandparenting ministry thing is really paying off. It’s become a daily occupation. After all, the Bible is clear that we are to have a ministry and an influence not only on our children but also on our children’s children.

“We’re in an ideal situation. Four of our grandchildren are just eight minutes away; the other two are about half an hour away. We can be very intentional about our time, sharing Bible stories with them, actively listening to them. We really do see it as a ministry.”

Brian went on to explain why he and Lori had become so strongly convinced of the need for this kind of ministry.

“The parents of our grandchildren are all strong believers. They know the Lord and walk with him. They are also active in strong churches.

“But not every family has that. And maybe Christian grandparents can be that bridge to saving faith and Christian discipleship that maybe the parents don’t have.

“We very much consider this a ministry. In fact, we considered it a gift to ourselves as well as to our grandchildren and their parents.”

Age Appropriate

Brian explained that his grandchildren were ages three months to five years, so he would not be teaching them the kind of deep theological content he had shared with students at the Christian college or seminary where he taught.

“The idea is, I’ve become very intentional about sharing Bible stories when they come over and having a prayer time. We want a definite discipleship role in their lives. We want to spend both quality and quantity time with them.”

However, Brian noted, there were limits they acknowledged in this relationship.

“We don’t want to overstep our bounds with their parents, who may also be doing that the same thing. They are all in about the relationship we have developed with their children and having them spend time with us. We determined; however, we were not going to just show up knocking on their door, or pestering them about having more time with their children. They know we are available if they need a weekend to go to a marriage conference, or if one of the kids is sick and they need us to keep the other two kids away from whatever the sick one has. They know we’re not going to barge in, and we’re not going to give them more gifts than their parents do at Christmas time.

“We’re certainly happy they are on board with this. They know how much their children love their gray-haired grandma and grandpa. And they are happy about it too. We see this as just the beginning of the opportunity to disciple our grandchildren. It allows us to have an impact on their lives, and to continue telling this generation coming up of the glorious deeds of our God, and what he has done in our lives.”

Brian explained, because they all lived in Christian homes with parents who were intentional about teaching them, even the youngest ones had a spiritual foundation he and Lori could build on.

“Even the three-year-old and five-year-olds know about God. They know God created the world. One of the five-year-olds has already come to trust Christ as Savior. That didn’t surprise us, because both of our children trusted Christ at a very young age.”

Setting an Example

I wasn’t surprised to hear the importance Brian and his wife placed on walking the walk, not just talking the talk.

“The chief thing is for us to be consistent in our demeanor and our behavior. We treat each grandchild with fairness whenever we have to adjudicate conflicts when the parents are not present. We’ve been focusing on consistency, but I believe it’s time now for us to turn the corner and work even more on Christian teaching. That teaching can take the form of Bible stories. Jesus certainly used the technique of telling stories when he taught his disciples and others.

“We are just blown away by the grace of God. He allowed us to retire, move here, and then buy a house ideally suited to our ministry to the grandkids both now and in the future.

“One thing that makes it easy for us is our grandchildren are well behaved and well-adjusted. They come from strong Christian homes, rather than broken homes, or homes where one parent is an alcoholic. That makes it much easier for us. But certainly, in those kind of situations, intentional Christian grandparenting would be absolutely critical. A big part would be setting a godly example before the grandchildren.”

As They Grow Older

Brian also explained the home he and Lori purchased was selected with the grandchildren in view, including the fact they would be growing older.

“Our house sits on an acre and a half. Part of it is a forest. In addition, we have a swimming pool-- something kids of all ages are attracted to. We believe even when they are teenagers, they will be attracted to our house. They can have birthday parties here, pool parties-- that kind of thing.”

“Now you don’t have to have these kinds of attractions to be able to enjoy your grandchildren or have a ministry to them. But we wanted a place that could be like a second home to them, a getaway, a place where they could spend time with us. They could hang out with their friends or have their youth group meet here. Of course, that’s down the road. But we’re thinking about our home, our presence in their lives as being a ministry tool for them in the future as well as right now. Just the potential for us to use our home as a tool to help them grow in their faith is exciting to us.”

During the course of our fellowship over lunch, Brian expressed surprise over something his daughter heard at a gathering of a number of mothers of preschoolers.

“She was so surprised to hear most of the moms say that the grandparents typically lived nearby., However, a high percentage of them were not involved in the lives of their grandchildren. We found that shocking. Grandparents who didn’t want to be involved? We just think, along with our adult children, that it’s a natural thing for grandparents to want to be involved with their grandchildren.”

Grandfatherly Advice

As we were finishing lunch, I asked Brian what advice he might have for Christian parents who want to engage in a ministry to their grandchildren.

“The first step is to be engaged, to be involved in their lives,” he replied. “Pray for your grandkids—each of them specifically. Be an influence by setting a godly example. Listen to them, ask them questions. Find out what’s going on in their lives to the degree you can. Find out what they’re doing, what they enjoy.

“Maybe they want to play ‘Chutes and Ladders’ or some other game. We may do that with them for an hour or an hour and a half.

“But I put a high priority on listening, finding out where they are. That way you can be a safe place for them, and they will be more likely to share their thoughts and their concerns.

“I think it’s beneficial for grandchildren to hear maybe a little bit different perspective about God and life, or even house rules, than what they hear from their parents.”

Brian summed up our conversation as we were leaving the restaurant.

“You know, the closer you are to your grandchildren, the better position you’ll be to earn the right to be heard, and to share all the good things you’ve heard. Not only to share your home, but also your words of wisdom and the love for God that you have.”

As I drove back to my office from our lunch meeting, I recalled the many times Brian and I enjoyed fellowship while we both lived in Nebraska. And I thank the Lord that Kathy and I are now living closer to more of our 12 grandchildren, and even having an opportunity to make a spiritual impact on a number of our great-grandchildren.

*******

Don Hawkins, D. Min. is the Senior Content Officer for the Master Life Coach Training Institute and the President/CEO of Encouragement Communications. He hosts the Saturday evening call-in program “Encouragement Live” and the weekly “Encouragement for You” podcast. Don has authored over 25 books including Master Discipleship Today, Friends in Deed, Leadership Under Fire,and Never Give Up.